


Hateful Nightmare

by cloudcitygal



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Depictions of Death, Depictions of injury, Emotional Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Tolkien Fic Week, TolkienFicWeek, implied panic attack, mild ooc but he is grieving, nothing too graphic, seriously this hurts so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudcitygal/pseuds/cloudcitygal
Summary: Kili dies in battle before Legolas could reach and Legolas is angry he was foolish enough to die so young
Relationships: Kíli/Legolas Greenleaf
Comments: 2
Kudos: 20





	Hateful Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> This is for day 2 of #TolkienFicWeek  
> Prompt - "I Love You" or "I Hate You"  
> Thank you to @/deadfilii and @/durinsreign for creating this event!!!  
> Everything is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my own.

The battle had been long, excruciatingly long, having left the mountain early the morning prior to meet the orcs in an open field. They were not prepared for the numbers of the orcs, the sheer force they were met with. They won but Legolas couldn’t yet conclude if it was worth it.

The battlefield was a mess, bodies strewn in unending piles, the smell alone turned his stomach. Legolas moved forward, despite the blood soaking through the leather of his boots, he persisted. He was looking for someone, his someone, the only someone who mattered to him. He kept walking, he watched and looked over every limping dwarf who passed him.

The field stretched on, he lost track of where he and Kili were separated so he wondered. Stepping over and around bodies, laying his hand on dying dwarves foreheads and praying to Mahal with them. He couldn’t find him, the sinking fear getting worse.

Legolas broke into a run, moving back and forth, even calling out Kili’s name, searching, begging. He found Nori, the spymaster bloodied and his arm broken, shook his head. “Dwalin just left and went looking. We will find him Legolas.”

Still, the comforting words did nothing to calm his nerves, bile rising in his throat as he passed Fili next, the wounds were substantial and Tauriel was bowed over him, chanting while a dwarven healer began to sew his leg.

It wasn’t until nightfall Tauriel found him at the altar edge of the battlefield. He could only think that Kili had been taken by the retreating orcs. He couldn’t imagine the pain, the torture, and suffering his betrothed was enduring. 

Tauriel laid a gentle hand on his arm startling Legolas out of his thoughts, he turned his head to her quickly, watching as she struggled to speak. Minutes passed, flying on the evening breeze a hateful contrast to their pain when she did speak Legolas heart shattered.

“We found him.”

Legolas took off running, the dark no match for elvish vision as he worked his way towards the city of tents. He went straight to the healing tents, she aching them over when Tauriel caught up again. Taking his arm she pulled him to a loan pop up at the side of where the dead were being loaded into caravans. He couldn’t breathe, feet sucked in the mud like a stone.

The tent burned him, every step his friend dragged his closer, burning his lungs. He knew what waited for him and it was the worst sort of agony as he drew closer. Inside he couldn’t see but the outline of his lover. He got as close as he could before collapsing, his knees hitting the closet floor as a sob tore through his body.

Legolas took a bloody hand in his own, pressing it to his chest as he bowed over his Kili, the body, the lifeless body of his Kili. He touched their foreheads together, the cold waxy skin a painful indication of how long Kili had been dead. Another sob broke loose and he let the tears fall across the dwarf’s face.

“You promise me. You swore to me that you would be safe, you selfish bastard. I asked you to stay behind, I begged you and you came. You should have been home. What am I supposed to do Kili? Meleth nin, how do I keep going? Where do I go? Would you have me return it to the mountain or the forest? Shall I bury you beneath flowers or let your family lay you to stone in a cold tomb I'll never see again? Do I try and love again someday? Do I sail? You left me, reckless fool, you left me and now I have a sea of questions and no one to reach for. I hate you. I hate you so much amralime. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for having me love you so much only for you to leave me so soon. Bastard.”

Tauriel watched in silence as her friend raged, the blood caked into the blond hair and he stopped speaking and fell apart. 

Head resting on Kili’s chest Legolas took a slow breath and closed his eyes and wished this hateful nightmare away.

"It wasn't worth it Kili."


End file.
